What is the story you are telling yourself?

Whether you think you CAN or you think you CAN’T… you are right.

Our mindset has a profound effect on our experience of the world. How we think about things shapes our emotions and ultimately our actions. Specifically, if you want to change habits or behaviors, mindset is the most powerful piece of the puzzle.  Your mindset can move you closer to your goals or further from your goals depending on what story is being played over and over in your mind.

In other words, how do we communicate with ourselves? What self-talk or “stories” are we making up about our lives? Is it positive and confident or negative and draining? There is fascinating research being done in the world of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). Neuro means “of the mind” and linguistic is the study of language therefore NLP simply means that you can train your thoughts with specific techniques that can be powerfully effective in changing how you experience the world. NLP fits nicely with the ideas in the Law of Attraction- they both posture that our thoughts and feelings shape our reality. Programming your brain to use positive language can actually transform your entire life!

I challenged my friends to re-frame a common event that we had all experienced together first with negative language and then again with positive language.

It was the same facts, but framed with two different lenses.


Four women go on a camping trip in Moab, UT. The drive was 5 hours long through mountains. There was weather on the drive there, high winds and cold temperatures the entire weekend and a 6.5 mile race up a canyon to complete. The campsite was in a canyon and very exposed to the weather. One tent collapsed and ripped in half. The fire did not stay lit due to high winds and some rain.
Story one:
So I went on a camping trip with three women- I wasn’t very close with them and we all had very different personalities. The drive out to Moab took forever, and there was snow and fog and it made the drive extremely dangerous and treacherous. We didn’t have any music to listen to and had to keep stopping for bathroom breaks which took even longer. By the time we pulled into Moab it was almost dusk and we had to drive all the way up this crazy dirt road into a canyon with no cell service. We couldn’t text or call anyone. Oh and the cooler leaked and got all of the blankets super wet. We finally made it to our campsite and the winds picked up so bad that we couldn’t even cook or eat our dinner without stuff flying in our face, plus it was FREEZING and our fire kept going out and the flames reduced to smoke. One of our tents literally ripped in half and two of the girls had no where to sleep and had to sleep in the car. The next day we got up super early because the wind was howling and we were freezing again in our tents. We had to get dressed, shove food in our mouths and show up for this 6.5 mile race which was WAY harder than we anticipated, there was a “long technical climb” for the first 2/3 of the course. We got sick in the altitude and the race was miserably hard, we couldn’t even catch our breath. We finished the race running through a river that was chest high from all the ice melt. Yuck, muddy clothes and muddy sneakers and cold. We didn’t really have a plan for after race so we waited in a long line to get into Arches National Park and were so tired from the race we didn’t feel like doing any of the hikes. Plus again it was so windy and cold. When we got back to our campsite we spent the next night in extreme cold and awful wind. It was so hard and not comfortable. Then in the morning we had to pack everything up and sit in the car again for like 5 hours back to Denver.
Story two:

Oh man! I had such an epic women’s weekend- we felt like warriors!! I got to meet 3 other incredible women and we spent a gorgeous car ride driving through Colorado and into Utah, swapping stories about life + work. I really got a chance to learn from these people. We rolled into Moab right as the sun was setting, it was stunning! Our campsite was down a dirt road in between these crazy cool rock formations- it was breathtaking. We set up camp with the wind howling and poured our wine to get warm! We laughed so hard when the wind wouldn’t let us put up the tents. One of our tents actually collapsed! We hustled + worked together to get all the blankets transferred to the car and two girls got to sleep in the “penthouse” as we called it- toasty, warm and cozy! Our cooler leaked on the way up but lucky for us we packed lots of extra warm stuff. We cooked our dinner with headlamps and huddled together to gobble down the delicious meal, we felt like such bad ass survivors getting shit done with Mother Nature throwing us curve balls. When our fire died out we took refuge in our tents and giggled, laughed and told stories until we fell asleep. The next day we all rallied together to get to the race, we had a fun breakfast in the car while listening to Bob Marley. The race was very challenging but we did it together and at the top of the long technical climb we were rewarded with incredible, stunning views of the Colorado river and the canyons it carved. We ran down the backside along the river and triumphantly crossed the muddy stream to cross the finish line. We felt like champions! We did it! It felt so awesome to complete such a challenging endeavor. We toured the great Arches national park, walked around downtown Moab and then made it back to camp to enjoy a hilarious night around the fire laughing, drinking and storytelling. We were so tired the next day but we loaded up on coffee and drove back to Denver telling talking and laughing about our epic women weekend with Mother Nature challenging us and felt proud that we all did our part to stay positive! Such a great bonding experience!

See how language and mindset can alter the facts?

Think about the stories you are telling yourself about events / situations /circumstances in your life. Just observe. Watch. What does the story sound like? Is the language positive or negative? Can you try to re-frame situations and look through a different lens?

Whether you think you CAN or you think you CAN’T… you are right. Whatever we tell ourselves becomes our reality. We shape our reality through our thoughts. Remember thoughts become actions. The situation you encounter may not be ideal or may be down right challenging but the way you think about it doesn’t have to be. You can set your perspective.

And guess what- when you change the story you can change how you feel about the situation. That is the power of a positive mindset. Practice this and see what happens!

One thought on “What is the story you are telling yourself?

  1. This is such an awesome post, such an epic weekend. I know the perspective I would have taken and it sure wouldn’t have been the first. A great message here and it sounds like you really were warriors. Fantastic!


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